The Underground Princess Manifesto

What the hell is an Underground Princess? Is it like that little Disney Mermaid, only living in a cave instead of under the waves? Is it one of those damsel-in-distress deals, a blonde in a conehat kept captive in a dungeon down in Middle Earth? Is it some Pink Leather Hell’s Angels gimmick?A Lady Gaga persona?

Sorry, none of the above.  It is an attempt to reclaim the notion of feminine nobility, to wrest the idea of a Princess away from Disney, and the forces of Pink Vapid Girlieness, and away from the connotation of entitlement that the word has come to hold. To empower it to counter the dreadful images of womanhood that are flooding our public discourse with the rise of Snookie and the Kardashians and Joan Rivers. We are not prudes, we are not conservative a-woman’s-place-is-at-the-ironing-board activists, we are not pink-hating militant feminists. We want to offer women a model for expressing a kind of self-respect that doesn’t need to call attention to itself.

Our inspiration was the fictional  ur-Princess, Sarah Crewe, the first princess-figure for many of us as children when we as read Frances Burnett’s sentimental story A Little Princess. It’s a fairy tale, so of course, it ends with the main character regaining her untold wealth, but the most powerful part of the story, for us, was the choices she makes when she becomes a penniless orphan. She understands that it doesn’t matter if she is rich or poor, whether people are mean to her or kind, that it is her behavior and her self-respect that makes her a princess. The reader is privy to her thought processes as she undergoes the cruelties of Miss Michin and the privations of poverty in Victorian London. As she is being scolded and ridiculed, she wonders what these people would do if they found out she was a real princess. Half-starved, she buys some food with a fourpence she finds on the street, but gives most of it to a street beggar who is worse off than she is. She even worries about losing her manners and dropping her h’s. This is irresistible stuff for many many little girls.

As we got older, we saw the image of the Princess get cheapened and cartoony until she seemed to bear no resemblance at all to our memory of that noble figure in the story. The vile creature known as the Disney Princess has possessed the souls and bodies of millions of innocent young girls, and forced their parents to purchase those crappy hot pink satin gowns and hundreds of DVDs. The superficial trappings of prettiness are all any girl needs to be a Princess in the Disney universe. The Princess Diaries tried to exploit the wholesome goodness of Anne Hathaway and Julie Andrews to bring back that notion of the decent young princess (she recycles! she cares about kittens!), but ultimately seemed like just so much Hollywood cynicism.

Outside of pop culture, we noticed that there is a certain type of woman (young or old, rich or poor – it doesn’t seem to matter) who carries around a certain sense of entitlement. The kind of woman who wouldn’t dream of going without a great pair of shoes, even if she can’t afford them. We referred to them as “Princesses.” We met them in grad school, at work, in political movements, in our everyday social circles. For those of us who are not like this, these women are both infuriating and fascinating. The entitlement seems irrational, but wouldn’t we love to have a little bit of it for ourselves? Given that, in general, you get out of life what you expect, wouldn’t it be great to expect the best, as these princesses seem to do? Not in an obnoxious, selfish, demanding way, but in a I’m-going-to-treat-myself-well kind of way.

So, being an Underground Princess means that you are working for the good of all women (and all humankind) by remembering that you have a responsibility to yourself and your realm – it’s called Noblesse Oblige. You treat yourself and everyone else with respect, whether you deem that they deserve it or not. You try not to complain (except in those sanctioned friendly girlfriend complain-a-thons), you don’t need to impress anyone (because you already impress yourself so much!), you certainly don’t try to control anyone else, but your own self-control is beyond reproach. If people are unkind or disrespectful to you, you ignore them or walk away with dignity. You work hard to bring peace into your own heart, so that you will inspire it in your home, your job, your community. You understand that your incredible power is not power over someone or something, but power to do something, make something happen.

So, this site is here with ideas and resources and reminders for those who want to improve their lives and the world by co-opting the role of the Princess for ourselves. Our real-life, everyday, unglamorous, but completely fantastic selves. Try it and see – when things get to feeling crappy, see if you can remember that you are an underground princess, and that you can choose behavior befitting your noble state. If you’re worried that you’ll become Blanch DuBois, living in some kind of twisted genteel fantasy world waiting for your gentlemen callers, well, we can’t really help you there. You choose your behavior, you choose your responses, you choose your reality.

Start by picking up and reading A Little Princess again (or for the first time). Think about your memories of the book – or wanting to be a princess, or what you would do if you really were a princess today, or anywhere the princess fantasy takes you.